From empty nesters to re-nesters, many baby boomers find themselves transitioning from caring for their children to becoming caregivers for their aging parents. U.S. Census data shows that a record number of parents are moving in with their adult children. The number of adult children who have parents living with them rose from 2.3 million in 2000 to 3.6 million in 2007, an increase of nearly 70 percent, according to U.S. Census figures.

Because many elderly parents don't want to be a burden on their children and are reluctant to give up their independent living, often it is the adult son or daughter who initiates the move-in conversation. With failing health and financial issues at the root of the move, the decision is frequently made after an emergency arises. A stroke, a fall or some other physical crisis convinces the family that the senior can no longer live alone.

“Moving an elder parent into the home with you can be both a blessing and an albatross to your life,” says Forrest Hong, LCSW, C-ASMCM. “The transition can be made much easier with proper planning and preparation. Families thinking of moving a parent into their home should tap into the resources of a geriatric social worker or geriatric care manager,” advises Dr. Hong, a social worker at the Los Angeles-based geriatric care management company Senior Savy. “In many situations, if the parent has no major health issues, with some basic planning the family can easily transition their parent into the home.”

A New Trend?
As Americans live longer, many are embracing an old-world style of intra-family care that was common when we all lived nearby, instead of time zones away. Sybil Rogert grew up with this lifestyle. “Both of my grandfathers came to live with us. One when I was about 7 or 8, and the other when I was 12,” says Rogert, an Imperial Beach resident. “So when my mother-in-law, Lydia, needed to move in with us, I was used to the idea. I assumed that was what you did.”

Rogert’s daughters, Holly and Heather, were 3 and 5 when she and her husband, Allen, converted the sewing room of their three-bedroom, one-bath home into a bedroom to accommodate the 70-year-old grandmother. What was supposed to be a temporary situation turned into a 22-year living arrangement until Lydia died at age 92.

If your family’s deciding what living arrangement is best for your parent or parent-in-law, you can minimize some of the stress by considering these points before the move:

1) Be sure of your motivation. Guilt is not the best reason to bring your aging relative into your home. Consider your relationship with your parent. If it is toxic, or severe medical and/or psychiatric issues would cause too much strain on your family, you may want to seek out another plan.

2) Think big tent. Get your parents, children and siblings involved. Talk openly and honestly with everyone involved and share your concerns, expectations and your doubts.

3) Handling physical restrictions. Early on you need to determine how your house is set-up to accommodate your parents’ physical needs. Many baby boomers are retooling their homes to incorporate handicap facilities, wheelchair