Within 10 years, there will be 77 million people aged 55 and older. The number of Americans over 85 will increase to 4.2 million, an increase of 44 percent in only one decade, according to the U.S. Department on Aging. Despite these numbers, few baby boomers are ready for their parents’ aging, let alone their own. Today, some 15 million children already care for elderly parents, but this care is provided mostly in a fragmented manner and as a response to an emergency occurrence, such as a fall or an acute medical event.

We, as children, are reluctant to step in and take over the handling of our parents’ affairs, and are happy to push the time as far into the future as possible, until we have no choice but to act. It is difficult to decide when it’s the right time to sit down with your parents and go over financial issues, safety issues, and planning for their senior years, without your parents thinking that you are interfering with their lives. You need to make it clear to them that you are not after their money and possessions. Such a conversation needs to take place, should be brought up early, and even happen a few times so as to become less threatening. The conversation should be respectful to the elder, and on their terms.

So, the most difficult question is, when do you step in?

Early planning gives both you and your parents’ control of their situation. As our parents grow old, our roles slowly reverse; we become the care givers and they become dependent and needy. The initial stages creep up almost unnoticed, as our parent starts slipping in behavior or physical functions. Their slow decline can take months, or even years, and is camouflaged in the beginning. In general they seem to be doing okay, functioning in his or her daily routines. As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, if we are unprepared, the first sign of trouble will be some emergency that will force us to step in and react to that event. Unplanned reactions tend to be costly. For example, if your parent falls and sustains a fracture, that will require time spent in rehabilitation. If you are not familiar with such facilities in the area that your parent lives in, it may be difficult to start research on such facilities and compare cost. Planning ahead and being knowledgeable on such issues will help you